Another Approach
by Chaotica
Summary: What if Zim had tried something else to keep Dib at bay?
1. Part 1

A/N: Okee doke! This is important so you don't get all confused and yell at me. This is a 'What If' and I'm starting WAY at the beginning! Got it? Okay then...read on pseudo humans...read on.  
Disclaimer: I have been slacking off with these so bad! Damn vultures out to sue me...damn them! Damn them all!  
  
Another Approach  
  
Dib eyed the green child from across the schoolyard. He seemed to be inspecting the monkey bars with too much intent.   
He raised an eyebrow when the other boy screeched as another kid hung upside down on the equipment and reached for him.  
Dib dashed across the yard yanking the green boy Zim off balance enough to keep him in a little control. "What do you want alien?" He demanded.  
Zims' eyes narrowed and he shoved Dib away. Then suddenly he paused and looked Dib over, obviously the wheels were spinning like mad in his big green head. "I, I am here to observe." Zim said haltingly.  
"Observe?" Dib asked not totally believing him.  
Zim nodded slowly. "I have to know, if your race can." He trailed off as his Irken mind grappled for a reason. Then he found it. "Shh, quietly over here Human." He led Dib out of the sight of others. "My race, we are trying to see if your people can take care of themselves against a coming force." He lied through his teeth but he was quite convincing.  
"You are?" Dib asked dumbfounded.  
Zim bit his tongue trying not to launch into a spiel that would ruin his whole facade. "Yes. We are not a peaceful people ourselves but the other race, which is coming here. They are a thousand times worse than we are. We fear for your people." He let a despaired look cross his face, well one he considered despaired, and it seemed to work.  
"I, had no idea." Dib said sitting down heavily on the hard ground. "I thought."  
"It's alright human. You did not know." Zim said doing his best to sound compassionate. "What is your name?"  
"Dib." He got up and offered his hand. Zim only stared at it. "Oh, never mind. You're name is Zim right? Is that your real name or an alias?"  
"My real name." Zim said cocking his head. "Tell me Dib, will you aid me in my research? I need to know as much about your people as I possibly can." Inside he was congratulating himself for a job-well done. The Tallest would be most pleased with this.  
"You bet I will." Dib said.  
"Good." Zim said biting back a sinister laugh. He would have to control himself around this 'Dib'. One false move and he was done for. "Come, you will explain to me." He and Dib walked around the playground as they talked.  
Zim paid rapt attention to anything Dib said. He kept the conversation simple, Basic social structures. He was horrified to find out that there were hundreds of different social orders all over this globe. But that didn't matter, from what the Human said his current location 'Amerikha' was a Super-Power. Take this place and the invasion was as good as done.  
At the end of the day Dib allowed Zim to go freely. They made plans to meet again on the 'weekend', which started tomorrow.   
Zim grinned quite evilly to himself as he entered his lab. This Human wanted only to protect his home world. But in the process he was giving away vital secrets. The invasion would be done in no time.  
And when the Earth was crouched under Zims' command he would be sure to make Dib understand his error. He would make sure Dib knew it was *he* who had given Earth to Zim.  
A piercing maniacal laugh shattered the air. It was followed quickly by a squeal of delight and a crashing sound. "Gir? GIR! Get out of there!" Zim ran to deal with his malfunctioning SIR unit.  
***  
"It's amazing Gaz!" Dib said sitting on the couch, a look of sheer amazement on his face. "Their here to help!" He was positively giddy at the prospect.  
Gaz only twisted away from him trying to concentrate on her game. But of course Dib ignored this fact.  
"He said he'd tell me all about his people. This is it Gaz. The moment of truth! Real alien contact!"   
He gagged as her hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat. She pressed pause with her free hand and glared sharply into his eyes. "Shut. Up." She growled before she let him go.  
"Shutting up." He said quickly then dodged out of the room avoiding a flying lamp. He then trudged up the stairs going over his conversation with Zim.  
It was all a dream come true! Well, except the coming invasion part anyway. Oh well, Zim's race might be able to help.  
He closed himself up in his room and pulled out a note pad. He had a thousand questions he wanted to ask Zim but knew he would just forget half of them by tomorrow. So he started to write them down in his scratchy handwriting.  
He had a full two pages of questions when he noticed the time. Better head off to bed.  
He closed the notebook and changed into his pajamas. He didn't fall asleep very easily. He was still keyed-up from his 'discovery'.  
But finally he nodded off totally unaware that somewhere close by a little green alien who had feigned being his friend was plotting the doom of his planet. 


	2. Part 2

Another Approach  
  
Dib streaked for the door and pulled it open trying to fight down his enthusiasm. Zim stood on the other side doing his own best to keep his hatred of the filthy human in check.  
"Come on in." Dib said letting Zim in.   
The alien glanced around the house. It was different from his own, perhaps a few modifications would be necessary on his 'house'.  
Dib made sure the living room was clear of Gaz, he had no worries about his father. "I've got so many questions for you." He said gripping his note book tightly.  
"And I many for you. But Dib, you must understand." Zim said. He'd had time to devise his whole scheme. "These creatures, they are very dangerous. We have to be careful. I am alone and if they show up while we are unprepared there will be nothing I can do."  
"I understand." Dib said.  
"Good." Zim tried to get comfortable on the overly soft couch. "Now, you said you had questions?"  
"Oh yes."  
Dib went on asking things. He learned the name of Zims race and the name of the enemy that was coming. They were called 'Planet Jackers', Zim was evil but he wasn't insanely creative.  
The questioning went back and forth. Zim told Dib about life as an Irken soldier and Dib coughed up information about Earth's defenses.  
After awhile Dib noticed the time and the fact that he hadn't even had breakfast. He'd been too queasy from all the excitement.  
"Are you hungry?" Dib asked getting up.  
Zim sat very still for a moment. "Yes." He finally said.  
They went into the kitchen where Dib dug up some sandwich stuff and some sodas.  
Zim inspected the foodstuffs curiously then gagged. "Oh, disgusting!" He backed away trying to get the smell away from him.  
Dib looked at him puzzled and sniffed the lunchmeat. It seemed fine to him. "Er, how strong is your sense of smell?" Dib asked.  
Zim was across the room panting. "Quite strong." He managed then gagged again.  
"Hmm, maybe this was a bad idea." He ate a few pieces of lunchmeat rolled in some bread and downed a soda painfully fast. He then put the rest away. "Maybe you just can't eat human food."  
"No." Zim said glancing angrily at the fridge.  
"Then what are you going to do at school?"  
Zim leaned against the wall. "Not eat."  
"You could bring a bag lunch. If whatever you eat looks funny, you could just say it's because of that skin condition excuse you used in class." He wandered over and leaned on the wall too. "Say Zim?"  
"What?" He was getting more and more annoyed with this monkey-child. Imagine the nerve of the little bundle of stink trying to poison him with that, that *food*.  
"How old are you?"  
"Twenty-seven cycles." He said bluntly. He really wanted to leave, and leave now.  
"What about in years?" Dib asked.  
Zim searched his brain. "From what I've seen of your calendar and measure of time, I'd say around one hundred and thirty seven years."  
Dib's eyes bugged. "One hundred and thirty seven?"  
Zim nodded as if it was no big deal, and to him it wasn't. Then Dib's initial reaction sunk in. He narrowed his eyes at Dib unconsciously. "Why?"  
"You're older than any Human alive!"  
"Oh. Hmm, yes I see your point." He didn't really but whatever got him out of there the fastest.  
"Are you a kid?"  
"No of course not!" Zim said, his true ranting nature battled to show itself. "I'm an Irken soldier, in my prime!" He bit his tongue and calmed himself as much as he could. "I'm just, very small, not that I can't do this mission!"  
"Er right."  
"I, I have to go. I will see you in the school." Zim stormed for the door but found he couldn't even find the thing. He was about to scream in frustration when Dib steered him to the exit.  
"Bye Zim."  
It was all Zim could to do not glare at the human. "Good bye."  
Zim bolted for his base as soon as the door shut. Once inside he ripped off his wig he screamed and screamed and screamed.   
Once rid of his pent up anger he took out his contacts placing them in their respective containers.  
"Stupid Humans!" He screeched storming to the toilet in the kitchen. Once down in the magenta lights of his lab the sudden facial tick that had sprung up eased and he felt more relaxed.  
Perhaps this was a bad plan, but he had learned quite a bit about Earthen defenses. That was what mattered, the mission.  
Now all he had to do was keep up this act.  
***  
Skool.  
That single word held so much disdain that Zim could hardly bring himself to say it. He despised the place, it taught him nothing even remotely important. Not to mention that it took up a large chunk of his time.   
He wanted out...  
But the one good thing was it gave him easy access to the Dib-Human. Dib was a wonderful shield against the other Humans and did help him improve his disguise.  
But still, Zim's cheeks were scarred over because the number of times he had forced himself to not rant. He had to keep this 'Equal to Human' cover for as long as he could.  
Then came the problem.  
Real Planet Jackers had seized the Earth.  
Zim had seen his chances at keeping Dib in the dark in danger. Wonderful.  
But still he used the encounter to prove to Dib that the Planet Jackers did indeed want his planet. He took Dib out to see them, unfortunately he ran right into the ship that was towing the planet away.  
Zim lost his cool and vented the last month or sos' worth of anger at the Jackers.  
Then Dib opened his mouth and solved everything.  
"Why don't you just move your home world somewhere else?"  
Three sets of alien eyes and one robotic creature clinging to the ceiling squealing in glee stared at him.  
"Hey, why DON'T we do that?" The skinnier Planet Jacker asked.  
The larger one shrugged.  
The Earth was released and the Jackers headed off to move their home world around a non-dying star.  
Zim blinked many times. Was this a good thing or a bad thing?  
"Well." Dib said. "That, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"  
"No." Zim said crossing his arms. How safe was his cover now?  
"So um, is your race still going to come?"  
"I will, have to contact them. Later. Tell them. We should return." Zim sped the Voot cruiser back to the Earth. They had to cut it out of the shield, but that hadn't been too hard.  
Zim dropped Dib off at his home and went back to his base.  
He sulked down in his lair eyes narrowing menacingly at everything. His plans were dashed to pieces. He'd have to revise things.  
His eyes flickered to the screen he used to talk with the Tallest. Then an idea struck him.   
He'd been banished before, perhaps a second banishing was necessary. It would free Zim up a bit around Dib. And it would put the Human at ease with alien invasions.   
Then the armada would come, Earth would be caught off guard entirely.  
A squinty, evil smile crept over his face.  
Perfect. 


	3. Part 3

A/N: It gets decidedly slashy from here on in. I just couldn't see it going any other way.  
  
Another Approach  
  
"They what?" Dibs' eyes got wide. "Banished you? Why?"  
Zims' eyes were down cast. Inside he was fighting down an evil grin. "I wasn't supposed to involve a Human in this matter. It was a breach in regulations, a big one. It's nearly unforgivable of me to have even talked to you."  
"That's insane!" Dib said scowling. He paused a moment. "What happens to you?"  
Zim shrugged half-heartedly. "I guess I go nowhere." He sighed deeply. "It seems Earth is my home now." He forced a little sob into his voice.  
Dib rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I know you've just been cut off from the rest of your kind, but it could have been worse right?" He asked. "The Planet Jackers could have won, or something worse."  
"This is true, but." He shook his head dejectedly. "I think I just need to come to terms with some things." He looked up with lavender contacts over his eyes. "But, can you do one thing for me Dib?"  
"Anything." Dib replied.  
"Be my friend. I have a feeling I'm going to need one."  
Dib smirked, Zim almost gagged at it. "I thought I already was."  
Zim forced a brightened look on his face then got up. "Thanks. I'm just going to go home now. I will see you later." He walked slowly away from Dib, an evil smile spreading across his lips.  
***  
Zims' eyes narrowed at his screens. So much to do.   
The Dib-Human had totally believed his story of total banishment. Like his superiors would ever do that again. He laughed to himself at the mere thought.  
Then back to business.  
His mission wouldn't be that hard. It had been simple so far. Dib trusted Zim and Zim used that to his advantage.   
"Soon Dib." He said quietly to himself. "You will know the sweet sensation of betrayal." He moved a finger across the screen. It flickered showing him more information on Humans and their disgustingly intimate ways.  
He cringed. "Hideous." He whispered but kept searching. He would need this information.  
***  
Everything took time, years to be a little more precise. It was very taxing for Zim to be patient. But he was getting more used to it. This might even be good for him to learn some patience. Yes, very good indeed.  
For now he got closer to Dib. He had everything he needed now to set off a full-scale invasion once the Armada arrived. But they were delayed. It seemed that Invader Spleens' planet was being difficult and putting up an impressive fight.  
No matter though, he would be reached eventually. And when that happened...  
He squelched a ranting laugh as he approached Dibs' front door. He shook himself free of the manic energy and rang the doorbell.  
Gaz answered the door. She didn't look impressed on seeing him. He wasn't very tall, even with the growth spurts he had yet to reach five feet. The seemed that the reason water hurt so much was because it was jump-starting his cell reproduction at an insane pace. He only braved short treatments once a month because of the intense pain.  
"He's up in his room." She said turning back to her drawing. She did impressive art. Zim considered keeping her around after the invasion for that reason. But that could wait as well.  
He didn't answer her as he climbed the stairs. He hardly understood the concept of so many steps. But he had found that Humans had an irrational love for rectangular shapes and used them as often as possible. Strange creatures.  
He paused before Dibs bedroom door. It was open a little. He pushed on it. "Dib?"  
Dib turned to him slowly. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in his usual attire surrounded by magazines. "Oh hi. I wasn't expecting you for a while yet."  
Zim shrugged. "I had thought I was late actually."  
"Oh."   
Zim didn't like the way the Human was acting. "You seem, unwell." He said. If the Human was sick this might be a dangerous place for him to be.  
"I'm just a little down I guess. People get like that sometimes."  
Inwardly Zim was relived. Outwardly he was 'concerned'. He sat down amidst the paranormal articles. "Would you be less 'down' if you were to talk about it?"  
Zim nearly smacked himself. Stupid Humans and their communication needs.  
"Maybe." Dib replied. He shrugged. "I guess I'm just feeling a little lonely."  
Lonely? The Human was LONELY? Pathetic creature.  
"I'm sure you know how that is." Dibs eyes left the floor and met Zims'.  
"I know a little of it." Zim said nodding his head.  
"I feel so cut off from everyone. No one likes me or talks to me. I'm constantly called crazy or something. My father barely recognizes me and my sister only sees me as a problem." Dib sighed. "I just don't know how to take any of it sometimes."  
Zim felt there was a cue in there somewhere. Dib was directing something at him, something alien and horribly foreign to Zim.  
He braced himself and reached out and touched Dibs hair with a gloveless hand.  
The boy jerked in surprise and stared wide eyed.  
Fighting down an urge he knew would bring no good to his charade Zim blinked slowly. "Sometimes, we aren't as lonely as we think." He slid his hand down Dibs' face.  
The Humans' eyes closed. "Zim, I."  
"Shhh." Zim quieted Dibs' voice with his other hand and those amber eyes came open. "I can promise you at least one moment where you won't feel this loneliness." He took that hand from Dibs' face and removed his wig.  
Dib shifted nervously as Zim came closer. He shook slightly when the Irken touched him.  
Zim could clearly sense his fear. He took out his contacts not paying much attention to where they landed. "Dib." He licked Dibs' lips lightly. "Do you trust me?"  
Here it was, a moment of truth, or deception. Depending on how you look at it.  
"Yes." Dib barely got the word out of his mouth. He gave little resistance when Zim pushed him back to the floor. He had barely a moment to wonder if the door had been closed all the way before his mind and body dissolved in the moment and he gave in to the alien. 


	4. Part 4

A/N: Setting up angst takes too long...filler chapters...meh...  
  
Another Approach  
  
Dib opened his eyes slowly. For a moment he wondered why he ached all over. Then memory was regained.  
He curled back up in bed smiling to himself. He searched blindly for Zim but found him to be gone. He lifted his head and glanced around, a square-ish smudge was on his computer monitor. When he got his glasses on the smudge turned into a piece of paper taped to the screen.  
He got out of bed and walked slowly to the computer. It was harder than he liked to admit.  
It was Zims' handwriting on the note.  
  
Dib,   
  
I'm sorry to have left you so soon. But I had to return to my base before dawn, my lenses were damaged and unbearable to wear. I will return later. Get some rest.  
  
Zim.  
  
The hasty handwriting was a bit unnerving but Dib was glad Zim cared enough to leave a note.  
God what a night. He hoped Gaz had been out last night, he knew his dad wasn't around. He glanced at the floor and a confused look crossed his face.  
He bent down uneasily and touched a rip in the carpet, it bit into the floorboards underneath.  
How weird, had Zim done that?   
He remembered how Zim hadn't worn his gloves last night. He had thick black claws that were slightly curved on each fingertip. They weren't razor but were sharp enough to cause some discomfort when Zim had...he blushed unconsciously.  
He got back up. Maybe Zim had just gotten a little carried away. He got back in bed only to find another rip not just in the sheets but down to the mattress. He fingered the rip trying to remember when it had happened. Nothing came to mind.  
He rolled over shrugging it off.   
***  
"Are you serious?" Red asked his counterpart. "You want to send part of the fleet to Earth? With Zim!?"  
"He IS taller now and he's, I don't know, been taken down a notch by something. He hardly rants anymore." Purple reasoned. "Besides, we're going in that direction in the next 'Impending Doom'."  
"But he's insane! That menace to Irken culture cannot be given the chance to re integrate with the empire. You DO remember why we have an 'Impending Doom II' don't you?"  
"Yeah, yeah, but seriously, they have tacos on that planet."  
Red perked up at this. "Ooo, tacos, I'll go make the arrangements."  
***  
Someone knocked on the door and rang the doorbell at the same time. Dib had just gotten dressed and had made it to the living room in time for this. He opened the door finding Zim standing there looking very pleased with himself.  
"Hello Dib." Zim said leaning against the doorframe. He had an almost sinister look in his contact covered eyes.  
Dib couldn't help but blush. What the hell was he supposed to do? Zim was not only an alien being but a male alien being that had made Dib scream out things he'd never say in his right mind. "Hi."  
"I feel like celebrating something." Zim said pushing away from the door and moving into the house.  
Dib backed away letting him. "Like what?" He asked. He'd never really seen that look on Zims' face before. It was almost...evil.  
Zim took Dibs' hand eventually wrapping his fingers around the sixteen-year-old Human boys' wrist. "Does it matter?"  
A quick jerk and Dib almost fell over as he was spun around. He felt Zim pressing Dibs' back against him. Now incredibly kinky thoughts spread through the boys' brain.  
"Zim?"  
Zim quieted him by putting his free hand over Dibs' mouth. "It's alright Dib. I have a few things I'd like to try."  
Dibs' eyes rolled back in his head for a moment. Zims' hand had strayed just a tad too far south for him to keep his composure much longer. "What about...?" He couldn't even remember the end of his question.  
"What about what?" Zim asked. "It's Saturday. We have no place to be." He licked Dibs neck. Last night Zim had been unprepared for the things Dib had wanted. This time he'd done a little hormone therapy so he didn't actually have to THINK about the disgusting things he was doing. He'd probably like it more this way too.  
Zim let Dibs' arm go but still held him in place. "Where is your sister?"  
"Game-con, at the mall." Dib stuttered. God why did his clothes have to be so hot all of a sudden?  
"And your father?"  
Dib licked his lips trying to keep his breathing even. "The lab, new project." He let out a heavy sigh and mumbled. "Oh my god."  
"Upstairs." Zim hissed and practically dragged Dib up the steps.  
As the bedroom door shut the front door came open with a far away rumble of thunder. Gaz opened one squinted eye sensing something amiss. It was when her brothers sound system came on upstairs with the bass all the way up that she knew.  
"Stupid Zim." She muttered carrying her bags of free stuff and new games to the couch. 


End file.
